


Diaper Duty

by Ladytalon



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Thirst
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-10
Updated: 2010-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-10 01:09:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon





	Diaper Duty

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_

  
Buffy sighed and dusted her hands off briskly; she couldn't wait to get back home and take a long, hot shower. Maybe she'd even go a little wild and spring for a bubble bath with the biggest pink bubbles this side of the Hellmouth. There could even be a few candles if she could smuggle them out of Willow's room. Contemplation of her impending cleanliness made her smile and automatically glance around for Lenny – she could probably persuade him to give her a backrub, now that he'd learned just how much pressure was safe to use on her. She'd last seen the big vampire beating a trio of Gnarth Demons to within an inch of their respective lives - well, a little bit past that point, since they were currently all piled in the corner neatly, and deader than three identical doorknobs.

After the tip they'd gotten from one of the vampires that Lenny had terrified into submission simply by being himself, they'd arrived at the warehouse to find the baby auction in full swing. Most of the infants had been retrieved from their erstwhile "owners" and Kennedy had gone with Willow to recover the rest. Buffy could see her friends coming back from the cluster of offices built into the inside of the warehouse, heading up a group of Slayers who were each carrying a baby in varying degrees of rather noisy distress. "Is that all of 'em, Will?" she asked, looking around for Lenny once more. Where _was_ he?

"Looks like we got all of the little joy bundles except one, but they probably miscounted… Gnarth Demons are notoriously bad bookkeepers," Willow said cheerfully. "Either that or Lenny swiped one for a midnight snack, huh, Buffy?" she joked. "Where is he, anyway? I figured he'd be the first back in the car – he was pretty cranky about not getting to eat before we left."

Oh, no. Buffy closed her eyes wearily, pinched the bridge of her nose, and threw back her head to bellow his name. From the far corner of the warehouse came the startled reply of, "Buffy?"

"Leonard, you bring that baby back over here _right this minute_," Buffy hollered. "Kennedy, would you mind…?"

Her friend grinned as she went to retrieve the baby, and was back scant seconds later with a scowling Lenny in tow. "Just a damn baby," he grumbled. "Thing's so small, who'd miss it?"

"Are we really having this conversation?" she asked incredulously, favoring the big man with a look that had him shuffling his feet.

"They was gonna get eaten anyhow," Lenny tried one last time. "Ain't like I picked the biggest one, neither!"

Buffy folded her arms across her chest. "Lenny, look at me. We are not in the wilds of Africa, where you get to pick off the slowest gazelle or whatever."

Lenny raised his eyes from the steadfast contemplation of his boots and gave her his best woeful expression. "But damnit, I'm _hungry! _"

"Then you ask if we can stop at a butcher shop. You _don't_ eat babies," she lectured.

He scowled back down at his shoes. "Don't like pig's blood."

She threw her hands up in the air and was about to speak to him sharply once more, when a sudden thought struck her. She'd have this problem with him again and again, until one day Lenny simply decided he wouldn't let her stop him from feeding. What she needed was a way to make sure children would stay off his fantasy menu completely… "Will, how many babies do we have now?"

Her friend came over, patting Lenny's bicep as if he were a pet in need of reassurance – he certainly responded as if he were, and started to come out of his lecture-induced sulk. "At least twenty five."

"They all probably need diaper changes too, right?"

"Well, I dunno about that but I know some of them are getting a tad ripe," the witch said, fanning the air in front of her face jokingly.

"Then I know just the person who can change them," Buffy said wickedly, reaching up to place her hand on Lenny's chest.

His eyes widened as he caught on. "Wait, huh? _What?!?! _"

By the time the shell-shocked vampire was finally finished changing all twenty five diapers, Buffy was extremely pleased to hear him announce that, for as long as he wasn't alive, he'd never look at another baby again and think of eating it. She had to admit, however, that he did look pretty cute doing diaper duty.

  


~_fin_~  
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End file.
